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The Real Reason Why She’s Achieving Her Goals And You Are Not

Some people make achieving goals seem so easy. It seems as if they no more than think of a goal and they’ve nearly accomplished it. While there are others who seem to struggle and fight and stress just trying to identify a goal, let alone actually achieving any of the goals that they’ve set.

It just doesn’t seem fair sometimes…

But what if those people who were able to habitually achieve the goals they set had a secret? What if we could learn their secret and finally begin achieving our own goals?

I believe we can. And I think we have a wonderful example of such a secret inside the description of an Excellent Wife given to us in Proverbs 31.

If we look at the Excellent Wife, we can see some distinguishing characteristics about her that would help her to achieve her goals while others (like you and me) keep finding ourselves stuck in the same place year after year.

Let’s take a look at Proverbs 31:18-19 for some of those key qualities.

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

Proverbs 31:18-19

The image that we can see in this verse is the Excellent Wife spinning the thread needed to create the fabric (merchandise) which has proven itself to be profitable. She knows that she’s working toward something worthwhile. She is putting her time and energy toward that goal. And she is holding firm to the tasks necessary until the goal is completed. The Excellent wife paints a stunning picture of wisdom in her work as she shows determination, concentration, and dedication.


She is determined to spend her time where it is most valuable and isn’t wasting time on things that are worthless.

How often do you find yourself wasting time on things that are absolutely worthless? You look back and realize that if you’d spent half the amount of time on things that were of real value, you’d have accomplished 10 times more than what you’d ever dreamed of! Instead, however, you found yourself spending hours watching one entertaining video after the next…. or cyber-stalking your neighbor’s uncle’s best friend…. or making yourself look like a cute little bunny in the latest selfie filter.

Do you realize how much time we utterly waste as a society? It’s ridiculous, really. Then we sit around and complain about how much we have to do and how little time we have to do it. Or we moan and feel sorry for ourselves because other people around us are accomplishing so much and we just can’t seem to get our acts together.

My sweet, overly-entertained sister, I beg you to stop for one moment and take a hard look at the way you spend your time. If you saw your time as money, would you spend it on the things you currently do? Would you pay Facebook to tell you what your best friend from high school is having for breakfast?

It’s odd to me how much we value money over time. Quite frankly, we can make more money. We can never make more time. Once we’ve spent it on something, we cannot get it back…. ever! It’s gone.

I urge you to rethink the way you spend your time. You aren’t promised tomorrow, so use every moment you have today to it’s fullest.


She concentrates on her own work and isn’t distracted by what everyone else is doing.

In today’s society, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing. Everybody’s business is so easily accessible and through their social-media-perfect lives, we get to see everything that we are not…. everything that we are missing out on.

We start to think that greener pastures are just on the other side of that fence.

Clearly, there are too many weeds and stones on our side of the fence. So instead of toiling away in our own gardens, like nosey little children, we climb the fence and see what it’s like over on their side. But what we find is that their ground is just as rocky (if not more so). This is going to be even more work than what we had in our own yard.

Just as we are about to climb back into our own yard, we get a glimpse of the neighbor further down the street…. Now HER grass looks perfect! Not a weed in sight! She must know something that we don’t. Not one to miss out on a good bit of information, we stroll down to find out what her secret is. That’s when we discover that she’s just installed some really good astroturf. It’s not even real!

But the Excellent Wife… now she’s got the real secret. The real secret is that she isn’t worried about what everyone else is doing. She’s discovered what keeps her garden strong and healthy by steadily working there day in and day out. She refuses to be distracted by the latest fad or by what Nelly Nextdoor swears will help 10x her garden growth.

One of the biggest secrets of the Excellent Wife is that she is laser-focused on one thing: Her own work.


She is dedicated to her main task and isn’t jumping back and forth between different objectives.

Most of us would probably admit to being a bit deficient in the attention department. Maybe not necessarily disorder-level of deficiency, but we are definitely lacking a solid set of attention skills.

The Excellent Wife doesn’t have this issue, however.

She’s not trying to paint the living room, clean out the gutters, go to the grocery store, and launch her new product all in one afternoon.

No. She’s focused on one project at a time. She works until the job is finished and then she moves on to the next task.

One. Thing. At. A. Time.

When is the last time you honestly focused your efforts to one task at a time? I know. I get it. In our world today, the ability to multi-task is a prized skill. Shoot, for most jobs, it’s part of the job description.

There’s this notion that the more you can do at once, the more productive you are.

As my dad would say, that’s some bull-hockey, right there!

This is absolutely false! Did you know that we are actually much more productive when we focus on just one thing?

Seriously, think about it. The Excellent Wife holds the spindle. Can you imagine her also trying to wash the windows and make dinner at the same time? No way! That’d be insane to think of. So why do we think we can do several things at once and actually get anything accomplished?

It’s unrealistic!

I’m going to stop right here and give you permission to put down all the other tasks that you have going on right now. For the sake of all things good, I urge you to focus on one main task at a time.


It’s Your Turn to Start Achieving Goals

I know I was a bit hard on you today. But let me be the first to say that I’m talking to myself here too. Every single area I spoke you about is an area where I have needed growth as well. That’s how I know where you are. Either I’m there or I’ve been there. We all have. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s beneficial.

I encourage you to use your time well, focus on your own path, and take one step at a time. My sister, I promise, if you do this, you will find much more satisfaction in whatever it is you do.

Would you like to join me in striving to become a better wife? Download the “Becoming an Excellent Wife” Workbook and walk alongside me in this journey.

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